Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
