is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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