According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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