the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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