Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
