if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
