OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
