You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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