If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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