Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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