I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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