My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
