my phone needs a breathalizer
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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