Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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