I must be too annoying 4 u.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
