She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
did i walk over a car last night?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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