dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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