I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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