sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
