i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
