I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
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