did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
