Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
