you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
