dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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