A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
