A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
