They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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