pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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