If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Randomize
