This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
