margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
