my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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