We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
