I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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