Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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