Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
