For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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