Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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