I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
