ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
how drunk are you?
Several
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
