Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I FOUND THE LEGS
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
