Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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