uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
