well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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