you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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