You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
