Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
