Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
