I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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