i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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